"I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.

Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”"

#613: How do I reach out to my friends who have depression? | Captain Awkward

P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”

(via startrekrenegades)

letsgoforahike:

Let’s Go For A Hike

letsgoforahike:

Let’s Go For A Hike

ARTIST: Radiator Hospital

TRACK: Our Song

ALBUM: Something Wild

PLAYS: 455
owlkikiwood:

Ibi Rothe
http://owlkikiwood.tumblr.com/http://www.facebook.com/ibi.rothe Instagram: @ibirothe

owlkikiwood:

Ibi Rothe

http://owlkikiwood.tumblr.com/
http://www.facebook.com/ibi.rothe
Instagram: @ibirothe

hoodvale:

This post always slaps me in the face

hoodvale:

This post always slaps me in the face

(Source: stresscomic)

forgottenships:

becca

forgottenships:

becca

marisachafetz:

Olivia Bee and Andrew Lyman for Yen magazine part 2 by Marisa Chafetz

god these are beautiful

I have found someone who understands the weight of the words “lets run away to…” and uses them accordingly. If that’s not dangerous for the vulnerability of my heart then I don’t know what is.

"Men’s rights activists don’t organize marches; they don’t build shelters or raise funds for abused men; they don’t organize prostate cancer-awareness events or campaign against prison rape. What they actually do, when they’re not simply carping in comments online, is target and harass women—from feminist writers and professors to activists—in an attempt to silence them."

White Hot Rage  (via ho-ho-my-lad)

(Source: furnaceroom)

dyinginback:

caseyngarner:

This shitty diner is home

by: Casey Garner

I’m used to seeing photos of the Grand Haven pier reblogged across Tumblr, but seeing the Rendezvous, the shitty 24-hour greasy spoon that’s been a depressingly reliable part of my creative upbringing, is a borderline surreal experience. I’ve drank gallons of burnt coffee from barely washed Formica cups and sketched plot outlines on the backs of several dozen paper placemats. The Vous is a terrible place and I love it very much.

(Source: reorientmag)

"

1. I will kiss girls who remind me of Ophelia and boys why remind me of Holden Caulfield I will lick their sadness off of their lips and spit it to the pavement I will not swallow it maybe I will text them back the next morning

2. I will talk to someone new every day I am living in a beehive of adolescence a 1,000 page bildungsroman squeezed into a grassy campus I will listen to all the stories I can fit into my brain when it overflows I will go to sleep and try again tomorrow

3. I will fall in love with that tall, thin girl with newly died strawberry hair who I ate ice cream with under a tree, with the blonde girl with athlete’s shoulders and a swoop of apathy under one eye who grew beans in a greenhouse that she designed with 3D printing software, with the tiny old woman who works in the psychology department and who looked at me like a pearl in an oyster when I told her I loved cognitive science, with the boy who wondered aloud why everyone is always following a path and then proceeded to run barefoot down a grassy hill even though he had no idea where he was going. A year from now I will love them all, right now I don’t even know their names.

4. I will learn the names of all the constellations and the wildflowers and the bugs and ducks and snails I will impress people with how beautiful the world is and I will teach them that sometimes being part of this earth means picking up an almanac, means asking questions like “what’s that beetle called?”

5. I will read hungrily everything assigned and recommended to me

6. I will do the typical college things: I will funnel beer I will question my existence I will sleep through class I will change my ideologies I will disappoint my parents I will start an underground movement I will buy cheap vodka I will buy and old military jacket I will buy forgiveness I will liberate myself I will wonder who I am I will funnel beer

"

six goals for my first year of college (via porn4smartgirls)